New Year’s didn’t land for me. Now I know why.
I’ll begin by saying I had every reason for it to feel like it should have. I had a lot of little wins to celebrate. This might especially surprise you if you read “Try a New Year’s Resolution Twist” because it highlights the power of small and downplays the hype.
Are you wondering if I take my own advice? Believe me, I do. But I somehow missed one critical step. And I don’t think it’s too late to remedy that.
So I’ll paint you the picture:
Both Christmas and Thanksgiving were a huge success compared to last year which, in my neck of the woods, is a HUGE win. We even welcomed a new addition to our family. On Christmas Day, no less!
Plus, I was FINALLY starting to see some real traction in areas I’ve worked very hard to move forward. We can talk more about that later. But things I’ve been doing awhile were starting to work. It felt like a dream. Like magic.
That’s not even the best of it. Something TRULY magical had happened that I never even saw coming. I was gushing.
If you only knew how long it’s been since I felt sparks over a man, you’d know just how much I mean what I say. I met him, and the elusive butterflies found me. It was everything I’d been missing.
I was in heaven.
So I screwed up my courage and asked him if he was married. He smiled. A moment later, he was giving me his phone number. I was a schoolgirl. Simply giddy.
All this, and New Year’s Eve was turning out to be quiet. Which was a welcome reprieve. I had every intention of celebrating all of this POSSIBILITY.
I was passing the evening with my mom, who is my very favorite person. We’d attempted one of our favorite movies. A guilty pleasure. But it kept getting interrupted.
Now her eyelids are getting heavy. And I know as I sit in the quiet I’m going to ring in the New Year ALONE. That’s when I start to FEEL all alone.
The loneliness worked through me like gum in my hair. My mom woke up with a headache just in time for the ball to drop in Time Square. I was grouchy.
What should have been celebration ended up in a puddle of self-pity.
Then came the guilt.
Have you ever been there?
Ever caught yourself in the midst of a spiral? But it’s too late. You’re already rolling down the hill with a giant snowball at your heels. And it’s gaining momentum. You can’t outrun the chase.
It happens. You’re human.
So am I.
That’s why it’s so dangerous to put all this pressure on a single day. Life is a series of moments. They can’t be forced into a mold of our own making.
But the problem for me WASN’T that it was New Year’s. No, that wasn’t it. I was DUE a celebration (or three). And instead, I was sulking.
I lost sight of my wins. Celebrating is what locks those wins in. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s. But it does have to be INTENTIONAL. It doesn’t have to be big. But it does have to FEEL like celebration.
That night didn’t match the magnitude and depth of my wins. It felt like an ordinary night. Lack luster. The possibilities I saw were worthy of glitter. Confetti would NOT have been wasted on my fragile little dreams.
Desire must be stirred. Stoke the fire.
What does celebration mean to YOU? What’s it FEEL like? You decide. You get to mark your moments however you like.
Mark them well.
Don’t wait for special nights on the calendar. Celebrate your wins every chance that you get. Make them count.
Celebrate your COURAGE.
I may have missed the curtain call for New Year’s Eve. But I can celebrate anytime that I want.
So can you. Drop the confetti.